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I'M NOBODY BUY MYSELF
I published this book in 2004. It was my very first full book publication with illustrations. To be completely honest, while I appreciate it for its simplistic (and crude) beginning... I appreciate it more for the courage it took to put it out there... and for the secrets that it unveiled... unraveled... with its publication. I wouldn't say it's my favorite publication, but I love to look back through it, just to see how far I've come. This book was published when my oldest son was two years old.
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I'm Nobody But Myself, is of one person's life, but many will find similarities in their own life. The author, Kourtnee D. Scriminger, has put together the best of her poems and writings. It's what she believes in, what she questions, wonders and walks in circles about. Topics include; her childhood, family, love and relationships, dreams, nightmares and death, the world around us, past, present and future, inspiration and motherhood.
She hopes that every person from teens to adults will take at least one thought from this book and apply it to their own life. Each person in this world is an individual. It could be from events in your past or maybe it's the way you question life and the world around you.
This is not a guidebook or instructional book. This is a free reading, mind-opening collection. You can take what you want and walk away, while others may savor the thoughts they can associate with their own lives and futures. Remember being nobody but yourself is the best way to be!
Little Train
I published this book in 2007. It is the only (under 8) children's book that I have ever published. I have written two other children's books, but I never finished the illustrations. My boys had a great fascination with trains. They loved playing with them so, it wasn't hard to come up with the idea, illustrations, and colors for this book. Add to it the benefit of learning and reading and it became the perfect Little Train book. This book was published when my youngest was two years old.
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C.A.T. (Caring Always Teaches) Series Book. Taking 5 minutes to read to your child, shows them you care. And in those 5 minutes of caring, you can teach them to: read, Write Imagine and so much more.
I designed this book to be quick and easy to read. I've made it easily manageable into any busy schedule. Plus, simple enough for children to learn to read. it also incorporates at least one other learning aspect within its pages. I've used bold basic colors, with simple and creative images to entice the littlest readers to come back for more! I hope you and your young readers enjoy it as much as my two little boys and I do!
The Protector. April 2008. BW Sketch with Chapter Poem
I
Darkness has made its way back again and so have the demons and monsters some of us have been ignoring, hiding from or trying to shut away. But in every shadow, danger creeps and suspicion lingers... The things that were and have been...are still following you! And no matter how far you run or how strong your defensive, barricading walls are...you can’t get away!
All your worst fears come rushing back…flooding your mind…overwhelming you…drowning you. Slowly…slowly they begin to approach…inching closer and closer…you can feel the slightest breeze as they take swipe after swipe at you...
The returning darkness that you feel, is not unfamiliar, and reminds you once again that there is no escape, that they are real and that they do exist. They are making their way to you…to tear you piece by piece… each taking a turn…one by one… waiting for you to fall…
And now...they have you trapped…they begin to claw at your skin, sending shivers up your petrified body…they are so close that you can hear them hissing in your ear. They spin the world around you...Spinning, Swirling, Spinning...Confused and Dazed... you start to tip and topple…you fall to your knees and your tears fall to the ground.
I I
Looking around, you search in desperation for help…and though there are some outreached helping hands... (of deception)... you know from experience, that they aren’t all trust worthy…but which one do you choose… think, THINK... now is not the time for guessing... if only because you don’t want to be wrong again! Determination growls from inside… NO you don’t need them… nothing and no one can be trusted, not anymore… you struggle to stay strong… to stand up and start again! But you can’t think clearly… not when there isn’t enough room to breathe… your scattered thoughts and uneasy emotions have you on a rollercoaster… you don’t need help… you never have… this isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last… and yet… your heart suggests you want to be rescued… and you want to be saved... but more importantly… you just want it all to end.
Their odorous, lingering breath swirls all around you... until at last, you are nauseous... Their claws are sinking deeper and deeper beneath your skin... And you know you are screaming... as loud as you possible can… and yet, there is no sound... except the hissing in your ears. And with every whipping and beating against your skin... scrapping and digging of their claws... You can see nothing… NOTHING in the darkness - though you know it’s real because the pain is very real... and the blood runs down your arm... mixing with your tears.
But now… will this be your end… you are already down… and your mind…body…soul…won’t take anymore… just CAN’T take it anymore… your strength is bleeding... draining away... and you are sure that… they have won! You can’t do this anymore...and darkness becomes darker... you won’t... you can’t... fight it anymore… and now, you pray this isn’t how it ends… as you collapse… at last…limp on the cold damp ground… you are now dead to the world around you.
I I I
Suddenly, with a great SWISH, from wings that span at least ten feet each… so that, the huddled masses of decomposing stench attempting to feed upon her fresh, warm body… are flung violently… skyward and backwards. He flew down... (from above)... his tail snapped like lightning in the air, and with a soft thud his feet landed on the ground. Standing majestically over her, with his dragon wings curved ‘round her…defensively shielding and…protecting her. Standing over her, keeping her safe.
His eyes of stone silently stare at the ominous monsters… daring the venomous creatures to deny him of his treasure… he justly stole back from them. They hiss and spit towards him… stomping and striking out at him… (but only in stupidity) … for while he stands guard...his tail lashes out at them… wrapping 'round their necks… strangling them. They whimper… begging to be released… until finally, when all was... what it would be... they stopped fighting him and simply scurried back into the shadows.
Do not assume he is a monster… or even think of him as one… though part dragon… his soul and heart are very much human… he is the Protector... Protector of one… of one who did not let him in… who could not let him in… even though he was right there… (always right there, in the shadows, at her side)... she did not want help, because of her fear… the fear that she could not trust again… he was hopeful that it was not too late... (maybe he should have...but he couldn’t have intervened)... and hopefully he had not waited… too long… before she finally… FINALLY… would let him in. He leaned over her motionless body… and gently brushed her face with his hand… it was still warm.
When all seemed calm for the moment… he gently lifted her body... carefully... up off the ground… and with ease and angelic smoothness… his wings lifted them up… soaring straight into the air. He held her tight… safe and protected… soaring up above the darkness, they rose higher and higher… up above the shadows and the fears… up above the existence that she lived in… up above the world so high… to rest in peace with the stars at their side… comforted by the moon’s full light.
I V
The coolness of the night air… stirs her to open her eyes… gazing upon her rescuer -cautiously eyeing him… she begins to fear him... (trembling)... as her eyes focus on... his tail… and his wings… but, when her eyes meet his… there is a sense of something... something she doesn't fully understand but she feels safer than she has in many… many years. Her body still aches, and part of her is still screaming... (on the inside) … wanting to be let out… freed from pain. He leans in and kisses her forehead… She exhales slowly... heavily... she realizes she is in a better place, a safer space for the time being… and as she closes her eyes... as exhaustion sets in... He holds her closer… warming her trembling body with his own.
V
When her frail, battered body stopped shaking... he silently lets out a sigh of relief… and when the morning light shatters the darkness… Covering her in light… he remains ever vigilant -he vows ... (as he has many times before) ... that he will not leave her side… she sees that now… she trusts he'll protect her… to be her Protector! (Just as it should have always been!)
He was now certain... as the days turned into nights and the nights into days... that she wouldn't turn away from his love and light ever again.
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Originally, this was published in "Fourth Coast Entertainment Magazine," in a series of small chapters, with the sketch.
Upon review of the chapter poem, in 2025, it has since been edited / revised to the version above.
Syracuse Press Club Award. 2008. Front Page Design
After my youngest son was born, I began working for my ex-husband (at the time my husband). He owned and operated an Entertainment Magazine (Newspaper).
Truthfully, I didn't have much faith in it, especially since, at a time, more and more newspapers and magazines were struggling... but this was our household income -so I did my part to help.
When I was leaving High School, I wanted to go to college for Graphic Design... however, that's not how it played out. I ended up in a Computer Science program before switching to major in Accounting.
Sadly, I never finished - I found out I was pregnant and decided to become a stay-at-home-mom, working from home.
My experience in Page Layout and Graphic Design, from working as the Assistant Editor of my High School Yearbook and working as the Editor for my College Newspaper, helped assist me in each publication of the Entertainment Magazine.
It is my understanding, that I am 1 of 2 people (my ex-husband being the other), from St. Lawrence County NY to win a SPC award.
(Maybe the only ones - I'm not sure).
* An image of the 2nd place -winning- front cover edition is not available, if I ever find it, I will post it. I'm sure I have a copy tucked away for safe keeping - Just not sure where it is - that's how safe a place it is. *